diet, Food

Bright Line Diet Week 1 – 2: Like a Prison, but a posh one

Bright Line Diet, Week 1 – 2: Like a Prison, but a posh one

My daughter has a favorite show – the cartoon series Avatar. In one episode a character, Boomie, was encased in a metal container, much like a casket – only his head stuck out.

The Bright Line Eating diet was much like that.

I thought I was tough – now I know better.

It started out okay, but got worse each day.  Day 5-14 completely sucked.

My long term aspiration has been to work up to eating at least half my food as vegetables/fruits.  I think it’s a great thing to aspire to.  Most people would get adjusted to this much fodder over time. Not me, I become progressively less able to tolerate fiber. With eating only at 3 meal times per day, a proscribed amount, dictated by the ounce of protein, veggies, grains, or fat, there is no leeway in this plan.

My long term aspiration has been to work up to eating at least half my food as vegetables/fruits.  I think it’s a great thing to aspire to.  Most people would get adjusted to this much fodder over time. Not me, I become progressively less able to tolerate fiber.  However, my first problem with this diet was that I cannot eat that much vegetable matter without severe GI repercussions. If you’ve followed me through this blog, you know that I have a GI  issues; I love veggies, but I can’t tolerate them.  That is a problem.

On this diet, we are meant to eat 20 ounces of vegetables a day – including a half pound of salad. In addition, we are supposed to eat 12 ounces of fruit. That is 32 ounces of “vegetable matter” a day – Two pounds! Everyday.

I tried a half pound salad. I was trying to be a good girl. Do you know how much a half pound of salad is? They sell those bags of salad in the grocery stores …. and they are only 5 oz.  Eight ounces fills a huge bowl.  It’s what I would make for dinner for a family of 4.  It’s a ridiculous amount. Needless to say  – I spent the next 3 days regretting this venture into ‘rule following.’

In the past, I ate a salad every day for years – but no longer! I just can’t do it.  I am irrevocably persistent, however:  I tried having a small salad, about 1 1/2 – 2 cups, but doing so every other day. The first salad day was okay. The second lead to 3 days of cramping and regret. So – no salads every other day!   Unless you spend $600 for the ‘boot camp,’ there is no way to get further advice.

I traded the ½ pound daily dinner salad for a 4 oz portion of whole grains. My intestines thanked me.

The second, and more disturbing problem was the 3 o’clock craving.  I started out not hunger at all, but over the first 5 days, those overly large meals weren’t sticking to me – I was getting hungry.  I started having to eat right on time! Starting on Day 5, however, my body seemed to completely betray me.  Each subsequent day, at 3 o’clock, I would get severely hungry, until I felt crazy man, crazy!  On Day 5 through 9, I would have done just about anything for a snack – a healthy snack. An apple.

We traveled on Day 10. That’s when the sugar cravings hit.  It felt like an addict without their drug. I went in to a gas station to use the restroom, but rushed out, because all the food displays were making me crazy.  While my family got Subway  – I sat in the car and fantasized about what I could sell, or do, to get sugar.  I wanted sugar more than anything in the world.  It would just make me feel normal again. Instead, I felt jumpy and itchy and crazy in the head. I was grumpy, too. My breath smelled and I had no patience or resiliency.

A family with 3 kids got out of a nearby mini-van.  The boy hit the girl, pretending to be a ninja….. I thought to myself – I could teach one of the kids how to really hit …. for a bag of M&M…..Even a small bag….

There was some part of me that realized my cravings, and the actions I was willing to at least consider, were totally crazy, and that it was fortunate that I was still sane. However, I felt would have done almost anything to relieve my cravings. Fortunately that was not true. There is a difference between “doing almost anything” and “doing anything” to relieve your addiction.  I felt like I could really empathize with addicts. It’s likely a short walk between one and the other. And hell – this was food! We are supposed to eat food!

I decided to give myself an optional healthy snack, if I was hungry at 3 pm: an apple or 2  rice cakes. It really helped!

Things got better suddenly on Day 13. I no longer felt like a junkie.  The sugar cravings had only lasted a few days.  I had altered the diet to include a 100 calorie, healthy, 3 o’clock snack (an apple or a rice cake and a cutie), but only if needed.  Suddenly, I did not need them. I wasn’t hungry between meals. All was well.  This is how the diet is described. However, the reality of how intense the simple hunger, much less the sugar cravings would become – that was definitely not mentioned!

The calm didn’t last. Every week or so, I go through a few days of intense 3 o’clock  cravings. Then it gets better for a few days. Then worse.

I know it’s not awful, but…. It is sometimes awful. The fact that there is no leeway on “what” you eat  (ex. 6 ounces of vegetables at lunch and dinner), makes me call it a prison.  It’s posh, because there is actually a wide range of fruits, veggies and proteins you can eat.  While I get enough to eat, (Posh – I guess),  there are no snacks (prison). The meals are so huge (posh) and there is supposed to be no eating except at meals (prison).

I understand the reasons for all these rules. However, I have rarely done anything as hard in my life.  This is noteable, because I do a lot of really hard things. I would say, this diet is not for the faint of heart. As things ease up, I am curious about what the future holds. So – onward I go!

 

by Tama Cathers – Learning all the time. Sometimes it hurts.

Photo Credit: I cannot give a photo credit, but wish I could. 

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Food, Health, Self Image

The “I Feel Pretty” movie by Amy Schumer and “The Diet”

The “I Feel Pretty” movie by Amy Schumer and “The Diet”

I recently went to see Amy Schumer’s movie “I Feel Pretty. “  While it got horrid ratings, it was a fabulous movie. I was rolling on the floor, shooting soda out my nose, laughing so hard. Plus, it had a great message, one applicable to most ‘average girls,” as the movie calls women.  The messages “Believe in yourself as you are right now,” was delivered in a  consumable, take-home way.

After the movie, I was able to change the way I thought about myself.  I was able to change each negative thought about my body into a positive one. If I saw my curvy belly and thought “Oh Gag,!” I was immediately able to replace the thought with “awesome and amazing” thoughts. By now, most of us have heard that we should do this.  However, it was only until after this movie that I gained the tools to do so.

That was FABUOLOUS! The pieces of my body I thought were okay, I was able to reaffirm. The parts I might not be so happy with – I was finally able to give some love.

Two weeks later, a friend of mine told me she had read Brightline Eating Book– on my recommendation – and was thinking of trying it.  I had touted it as a great work of writing on the science of habit and eating.  The psychology and science in this easy to read book was solid.  While I doubt anyone currently has The Answer, I think Susan Peirce Johnson is able to explain much of what we know – at least about some aspects of food, eating, habit, and addiction.

Since reading this book I have been fabulously overeating!

Why?

Because I knew that someday I would likely try this diet – and I wasn’t looking forward to it! Just the idea was triggering all my atavistic scarcity programs.  I recognized this from past experience.

Once I was in Australia hunting freshwater crocodiles…No, really – I was.  We were going in a large group for 2-3 weeks into the outback. We had one big shopping trip, and were constantly told to enjoy the fresh milk, fruit, veggies, etc while we could, because once they were gone, they were all gone.  All of us started eating tons more than we needed. In addition, we started not sharing and even hording.  I remember the awful feeling of scarcity, and the embarrassment that I was unwilling to share my last bar of chocolate, while I hid in my tent and ate it all in one fell swoop. I did not even enjoy it.  I felt guilty AND I did not actually enjoy that much chocolate! It was really awful. I was actually relieved when we ran out of fresh supplies. I found the shelf stable products were fine for a week or so, while camping.

The idea of the scarcity triggered the scarcity, not the actual reality of scarcity. The same thing was happening in face of the perceived looming scarcity of Bright Line Eating.

When my friend said she was starting the diet, I decided it would be better to jump in than wait – and overeat any longer.  I signed up to join her and be support buddies.   I ate anything I wanted to that evening, without actually over filling my stomach. For example – I went home and ate a Pop tart…with butter – not something on my usual list of items. And a small bowl of ice-cream. After a full dinner. Okay, those are really the only things I can remember.

I started the diet on a Thursday, and the next two days I walked around feeling enormous.  I felt bloated and edematous. By the end of the day, I realized I felt two to three times the size I felt the day before.  Every time I looked at my body, I was disgusted. Even the areas I think are pretty good now were unacceptable.  To be honest, I am not an overweight person. I generally linger at or within pounds of my upper ‘healthy” body weight and BMI.  Comparatively, I am in great shape! However, now I felt like an elephant.

The thing is – I knew I wasn’t. It was really interesting to watch my body image change, while knowing my reality had not changed.  It gives me a real concrete idea of how warped our body image is.

I want you to know – your body image is really warped!  It is!

I also have been completely unable to hold onto positively affirming my body when I see it – or even think about it!

That too is fascinating!

There are two ways of being, which I have just experienced in the last two weeks. One is supportive, loving, flexible, healing – all without being Woo-woo or New Age-y.

The other one is clearly  in line with “the American Way”: discipline your self, get tough, weigh and measure your food, be strict, draw firm lines. Just do it. Just say no!  It is Freaking strict, harsh, hard, and un-lovely.

It is an unkind way to treat yourself!

 

by Tama Cathers – my body is my lab, ever adventurous,  even when it hurts.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Health

My Legs: Our Body Image

My Legs: Our Body Image

After long weeks of being a tourist on hard concrete for hours a day, as well as hiking along hills, and up and down mountains, my feet hurt.  I have been struggling with plantar fasciitis for a while year. I even had a whole year that I could not run at all – pure torture for me.

Today after stretching and doing my physical therapy exercises, one of which is to rub the sh#$ out of the bottom of my foot, right where it hurts, I took a long relaxing shower. In the shower, I sat down and raised my feet to the massage of the water drumming on the soles of my feet. I love that.

I looked up and saw my legs.

I have been told that I have nice legs, actually my whole life.   I have to admit  athat  haven’t believed it. Not completely. Sometimes not at all.

 

When I was 13, I read a Glamour article, “The Perfect Legs.”  It had been written by a modeling agent, a man.  I know this, because I saved the article.  Forever.  They included a photograph, just to get the details sent home.  The model was a young girl (like me) photographed from the waist down. The article described detail by detail, from ankles to upper thigh, every curve and detail that would make the ‘perfect set of legs.’

My legs did not look like the perfect legs. I was grievously lacking an area where the middle of my calves were supposed to touch each other, ‘lightly kissing.’  Also, I did not have much space at the tops of my thighs, where the legs were ‘supposed’ to touch and then have a space.  (We call this factory ai, today.)  Nope – not enough factory air.  I was sad.  I did not have The Perfect Legs.

I was 13.  I was maybe 105 lbs at most. I was not underweight, however I certainly was not heavy – not anywhere.

Yet, this media doggedly and persistently, influenced my opinion of myself, my body, and my legs for the rest of my life.  In spite of, and in the face of, overwhelming evidence otherwise.

 

In the shower, I smiled.

I like my legs.

The ankles full of red bumps and scabs from chiggers and mosquito bites, gained while hiking in the mountains.  My toes are painted a bright cheery green with golden fleck polish over the top – from our “last night out” celebration. My calves and lower thighs had some scrapes – cat briar had reached out to get my attention once or twice in the deep fresh green woods.  My knees were a little dark from so much time in the garden, kneeling in the moist dark rich earth, weeding and harvesting loving green plants.

My running gait is balanced, neither supinating or pronating excessively. My thighs are strong, and my butt lifts me off the floor whenever I ask it to. It carries me up mountains. These legs have hiked me all the way from Georgia to Maine and taken me for runs and swims on every continent on the earth, (except Antarctica).

I don’t know how the Glamour model feels about her legs now, decades later, but I know how I feel about mine: I love my legs!  They work just fine. They look just fine.  These are the greatest legs I have ever had!

I think we should celebrate! Let’s appreciate seeing the deception.  Better yet, let us fight against the tide of the media, and the concepts of perfect body image!

Find images of the variety of women Olympic athletes, the panorama of body types. Gaze there a while.  Then – I dare you to post a picture of a body part that you hate,  one that has served you well and devotedly, but you still don’t like. Don’t tell me the story of what is wrong.  Tell me a story of what that body part has done! Tell me how it endured.  How it responded. How it rose to the challenge.

Let’s celebrate our bodies. We’ll go for a walk! Then we’ll burn the old articles, the ones that try to fit us all in a single box, tell us what we should value or not.  Let’s flood the media with what is real and valuable.

 

Tama Cathers – rebel, body image explorer, and legprenuer.

 

 

Health

Weeding the Garden – Cultivating the Mind: Grow Better Selves (Throwback June 2017)

Weeding the Garden – Cultivating the Mind: Grow Better Selves (Throwback June 2017)

I went out and worked with the dogs in the yard.  Being outside was wonderful, so I stayed out longer than intended.  I watered the garden, and ended up starting the huge project of weeding and replanting the front bed.  I had let weeds – strike that – unidentified plants, grow with abandon.

I had purposefully not cultivated (which means ‘to weed out’) the bed for a number of reasons, busyness included.  First, I had a beautiful patch of chickweed and stick weed still growing.  I love these early edible plants. They are not much for the summer heat, so I was secretly nurturing my little edible plant friends. Secondly, I thought the multitude of small vines were morning glory volunteers. I just thought the leaves would get bigger. We’d planted morning glories the spring before.  These plants had taken over the bed and were blooming, but they weren’t morning glories!  Well, so much for that.  It was all over run with vines.  Okay, I’ll say it, with Weeds. Even to me!  I needed to dig the whole thing up.

At first I started pulling crab grass and the small vine by hand.  This method often leaves the root. If you don’t get the root, especially with crab grass, weeding isn’t doing much good, other than making you feel like you’ve done some work.     Eventually I gave up half measures and loosened the whole batch with the large shovel. It had taken me a long time to get to that point, as I “didn’t want to do that much work.” However, I also set my mind on getting the weeds OUT!

As I started replanting, I found the fat white roots of crabgrass. In the loosened soil, I could follow the root, pulling the whole thing out. I felt like a robin with a big long worm, each time! It was so satisfying.  I was getting to the root of the problem – and really removing it. You have to get the roots!  Just removing the crowns won’t do. Really, you have to do both, and keep doing it.

In addition, my husband and I have had multiple conversations, over the years, about managing crabgrass. These conversations invariably become a philosophical discussion.  The conversation always turns at those darn roots!   It’s just like the mind, and our habits and thoughts, especially the drama’s.

Yes, we talk about philosophy, psychology and gardening, how they are all one.  That is why I love him and he loves me.

The physicality of the weeding allowed me a different perspective this time.  I really felt like I was seeing a new perspective!

Until I had a vision and was willing to do the work to loosened the soil, I was not able to get to the root.  Even after I did this work, I had to go over the same ground again and again, finding more and more opportunities to really remove the roots and thus clear the ground.  It would not stay that way for long.  I would have to do this work again and again.  From now on, it would be the same work, but with more purpose, and that would make the work not only easier, but more satisfying.

As I told my husband about my day, I realized that my discoveries about the mind and gardening, are the same thing.  We have to do the work, have purpose and intention, love the work we do, and do it over and over.  Then, we can grow even better.  Better Flowers, Herbs, or Selves.

 

Tama Cathers – loving the big fat roots and bringing them up to the light.

 

 

Burnout and Stress, Food, Personal Wisdom

Thoughts on the Habit, Addiction, Diets and the Books – Essentialism, Bright Line Eating, the Power of Habit  

Thoughts on the Habit, Addiction, Diets and the Books – Essentialism, Bright Line Eating, the Power of Habit  

My husband and I were having a conversation tying together our current research into habits and addiction, our life experience, our previous Shadow Work, and the books and resources discussed below.  Specifically, we were talking about how these apply to addiction.

While often presented with information that there are 2 parts to addiction and recovery, we believe that there are 3 parts.

1) The physical dependence – which can often be broken in days or weeks.  He deals with this every shift, as an ER/ICU nurse; patients come in and have to detox from their particular physical dependence. It’s usually a harsh detox by fire, i.e. a cold turkey kind of thing, done in the hospital. It doesn’t take long to end the physical dependence.  It’s the other parts of the dependence that stay active.

2) The habit – this is complex and has a multitude of factors and parts. I am not qualified to speak on it, having not been educated in this area, but I can speak from an experiential way, as I have had ‘small’ addictions (cigarettes as a teen, running, and ….cookies, to name a few).

The habit is the dickens to resolve!  Why – because they are habits! Unconscious patterns that take over. That is what they are designed to do – to keep us doing the same things. This is where Bright Line Eating, by Susan Peirce Thompson, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, by Greg McKeown, and The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, by Charles Duhigg, excel.  The authors give a thorough grounding in the background of why habits work – and how to start to think about undoing them.

The third part is often not mentioned:

3) The Shadow behind the behaviour – i.e. the underlying cause, or in yogic terms, the Samskara.  My discussion below of the author of Bright Line Eating is hinting at this. There are many ways to describe this, but simply put, until the underlying cause, the deep issue is addressed, the addiction is only a behavior away.

There are several resources to look into Shadow Work®.  The originators are Cliff and Alyce Barry.  There are related work, such as Integrated Family Systems, by Richard C Schwartz and Parts Work, by Tom Holmes.  The Mankind Project, serves as a great place for men to practice similar work, in a safe supportive group. There are chapters across the country and overseas.  For women, there are unfortunately fewer resources. There is Women in Power, a women’s retreat lead by ALisa Starkweather, and there are certified Shadow Work® facilitators and workshops.

 

We both like the sound psychology in these books. They dovetail well, with lots of information regarding making new habits (and breaking old ones.)  It also fits well with Chad Hinkle’s Program on Resilients, and building resiliency, in which he specializes.

We have ongoing conversations about addiction and recovery, habits, and shadows.  The subjects come up around gardening, mental patterns, eating cookies or having a ½ beer when the day has been upsetting.  It comes up around bad relationships, good sex, and marriage.  It comes up around our studies in sex coaching, and the concepts of compulsion vs. addiction.  Mostly it comes up around alcohol; his quitting all alcohol, my struggle with wine-and-cookies. i.e. I rarely drink, but if I have red wine, it’s hard to drink 1 glass, not 2, and then I consistently end up hitting the cookies!  No these aren’t life decimating addictions. They are touch points to look at all our compulsions, inspect our minds, and how our minds work. THAT is the stuff we love.

 

I first saw a video promotion on Bright Line Eating. I am not sure why I stopped to listen to it – however – the science got me.  I love knowing not just that something works, but why it works.  What I heard, dovetailed the science I already knew.  What fascinated me however, was its relevance to addiction and recovery.  The psychology is the more interesting part of the book. This is where it dovetails well with other resources. I like Bright Line Eating as a text book on changing habits – of any type – because it is clearly and simply written.  Again – I have lived these processes in my own life and body. The psychology make sense, the research supports it, and it works.

The author; she has quite a story – a dramatic fall, a long struggle, followed by a tremendous recovery.  However, what I noticed was that she is still intensely caught up with food.  This is at odds with her statements that this diet allowed her to live without constantly thinking of food. She is clearly constantly thinking of food – in a way that is very helpful to others, in a way that is not clearly damaging. However, after there are clues that not everything is resolved on a deeper level.

I stopped following her vlog about ‘slowing down,’ where tells a story, of which the details are now thankfully fuzzy, where her daughter asks if the mom will stop working to come visit the girl in the hospital.  Wait – this is a vlog about slowing down, right?  My heart bled, and I couldn’t watch anymore vlogs.  I did get the book Essentialism…..And the book Bright Line Eating.

I read Essentialism. I put Bright Line Eating on the bookshelf.

However, I got it back out.  The physiology is backed up by research. I like that.  (We all like to be correct.)  Physiology that makes sense, and is even backed by research. It’s clearly not the whole answer, however.  Look at my previous foray into Lectin-free Diets.  Bright Line eating, however, it also correlates with my experience – I like that even better. I was willing to start thinking it – but not ready to do a diet.

 

by Tama Cathers  – self- explorer and introspective woman, full of personal opinion and thought.

Disclaimer: We totally do not have the training to advise, direct or otherwise speak anything other than our own opinions on the topics above.  Thus – the information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this web site is for general information purposes only.

Tama Cathers, David Sink, The Empowerment Center or any associated members makes no representation and assumes no responsibility for the accuracy of information contained on or available through this web site, and such information is subject to change without notice. You are encouraged to confirm any information obtained from or through this web site with other sources, and review all information regarding any medical condition or treatment with your physician. NEVER DISREGARD PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE OR DELAY SEEKING MEDICAL TREATMENT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU HAVE READ ON OR ACCESSED THROUGH THIS WEB SITE.  Tama Cathers, David Sink, The Empowerment Center or any associated members do not recommend, endorse or make any representation about the efficacy, appropriateness or suitability of any specific tests, products, procedures, treatments, services, opinions, health care providers or other information that may be contained on or available through this web site. TAMA CATHERS, DAVID SINK, THE EMPOWERMENT CENTER OR ANY ASSOCIATED MEMBERSIS NOT RESPONSIBLE NOR LIABLE FOR ANY ADVICE, COURSE OF TREATMENT, DIAGNOSIS OR ANY OTHER INFORMATION, SERVICES OR PRODUCTS THAT YOU OBTAIN THROUGH THIS WEB SITE.

 

 

Health, Personal Wisdom, Self Image

Distorted Body Images

Distorted Body Images

I think about body image on occasion.  Sometimes that is brought quite close to home. This is a story about one such occasion, that happened quite recently.

I am a woman, in good shape, holding just at or above the upper end of my body mass index (BMI) score. Sometimes I am more muscled, sometimes I am more curvy. Sometimes I have abs, sometimes I have a little belly. I grew up thin-normal, so having any belly is foreign to me, only occurring since having children. Still, I know that I am more lean than most women in my age group, and that I will never be dramatically overweight, nor obese.  That being said; I can’t get over my belly.

I know this is a complaint of many, if not most women. I also know that we often have a distorted image of how we look. Of course, I generally think of this as a teenaged problem.

It is not.

 

We travel to another city, stay downtown in a nice hotel, go out for dinner, go dancing, socialize. It is all fun, and I look forward to it every year.

I usually struggle with what I look like at the pool, hot tub or …..after our evening out.  I want to look fit and strong. However, usually I look – usual.  It’s not bad – but it does not meet my expectations.  This year was not different. It was only different by degrees and by one hot tub.

I had been working out prior to our trip, and was feeling that it was starting to show. How nice, I’d be comfortable and confident.  Three weeks prior to leaving, I got a cold with a fever, a cough, and was sick for weeks. All exercise stopped for weeks prior.  Then – I got my period; my curves got curvier.

 

Joy.  I was not pleased.  I would look in the mirror and feel all the progress I’d made was gone.  I can’t say this struggle was at all new or different.  The thing that was different was that we had plans to meet friends and hot tub with them. I was not really worried about that, so was surprised that the results of the evening were – so revealing.

Our plans were dinner with a set of couples, a walk to drinks, then wrap up with hot tubbing.  I enjoyed the evening.  The woman of the couple we went out with was younger than I, and she looked …. fine, okay, normal.  When we got ready for the hot tub, I looked over and saw her in her swimsuit. What I realized in that moment, was that she was built like me, and her body profile looked – well, just like mine.  However, she did not look overweight or disgusting or like she was too round. She looked just fine in her swim suit, as she had in her going-out outfit.

Wait. She, her body, looks just like me. And she looks fine.

I blinked, trying to understand it.

 

I could logically understand it, as well as draw the logical conclusion – that I looked fine too.

But I couldn’t, really, make the connection.

I sat staring into the distance, trying to make the connection, and noticing how blocked that was.

 

I could see myself in the mirror and judge myself one way.

I could look at someone else and see that we had the same body profile, and know that she looked okay.

But I could not, was not able to then say “Ah, that means I also look okay.”

It was…really interesting.

 

When we got back to our hotel, I got ready for bed, stopping by the mirror, and looking at my profile again.  I stood at a distance, squinted my eyes, lowered the lights. Still – I could see that I was unable to see an accurate view of myself.

I think it is really fascinating.

I know that I have this distorted body image at times, while at other times, I have a pretty accurate body image.  Rarely, have I had the privilege of knowing when I have an accurate or an inaccurate view.  Right now, I clearly knew. Still, despite knowing, I could not change my perspective.

 

This is a common problem for all of us. Adults and teens. Women and Men.

My husband has been having a similar effect, though opposite.  He has always thought of himself as slender, and has told me several times that he would never be well muscled – he did not have the frame. He did not have the ability to add muscle like that.  However, he recently started working out consistently.  He has added muscle, strength, and weight. He looks, well – awesome! However, he can’t see it! He says, yes, I notice the arms of my sleeves are tighter, but I LOOK that same. Meantime, I am smiling a toothy grin at him, looking like a juicy rabbit is in front of me, and I’m the wolf.  He totally looks different – but he can’t see it. It doesn’t fit his preconceived image of his body, or even his lifelong expectations of what he is able to achieve.

 

How is this any different.

It is not.

Next time you judge yourself, maybe take a moment to notice, and realize that we rarely see ourselves accurately. Hopefully someone loves you any way, just the ay you are. Hopefully that person can be you!

 

by Tama Cathers – image analyst, conformation self-judger, lusting-after-my-own-husband and his new muscles, talking about what we don’t talk about friend, and dog owner (I just threw that in for fun).

Poetry

Lotus

Lotus

 

Here is the many pedaled lotus

Reaching the light,

Beginning to blossom.

He opens up slowly to the beauty of himself.

Arising from the blank space of time,

through dark murk and watery onslaughts,

steadily rising,

finding himself.

Here is the many pedaled lotus

reaching the light.

 

 

For David 

by Tama Cathers