Wisdom – Fear, Certainty, Belief + Life Happening Anyway
My life is falling apart.
I can see it happening.
It is ripping at the seams.
I am okay with that. Sometimes that is for the best.
Once upon a time, I did not know that. When things started to fall apart, when Kali knocked on my door, when I drew the Tower from the Tarot Deck, or when the knuckle bones fell a certain way, I dug in deep and fought the change. I tried – very hard. I Worked. And I suffered a lot. Now I know better.
Just because it’s okay, doesn’t mean that this is not going to hurt. A lot! Great change always does. Decades of life experience have taught me that. However – it’s still going to be okay. Yes, I can hear the metal grinding. Yes, the supports of my world are coming down and are about to crash into me. Yes, I will be crushed, and my metaphorical life, as I know it, will end. That is just how it feels when you go through big life change.
The real thing is this: You can’t stop it. Life will change, even if it breaks you to change. So you might as well go along for the ride, jump off the tower, walk in to the flame. At least don’t run shrieking or try to use your big guns. they won’t work. You’re not getting off at any of the stops, in one piece anyway. Yes, the roller coaster is heading straight to the ground. Close your eyes if you want, this won’t take but a ‘moment.’ So says Time. but Time figures time in a strange way. This moment has been coming for 4 and a half years now.
That is how divorce is, for example. When I was recently post-divorce, I used to say, you have to be willing to die to get divorced; because your whole life, that which you created with your partner – it’s all going to die. Not that this should stop you – it shouldn’t. But it is true. Do know that 5 years later, say few people ever say they would willingly go back to where they were. Was it hard? Sure. Are they glad? Mostly, yes, most decidedly YES!
(No, I am not getting divorced! Silly! I am not married. And yes, we are good.)
The reality is – you can’t stay where you are anyway. Ever.
You are dying to that bit of life, one way or another – so it’s better to just let it happen and plan for your new life. The one that starts after the destruction. The one that is already sprouting within you. The one you will be much happier in living with.
Let the life sprouting in you grow
and I’ll meet you on the other side.
Good luck. I believe in you!
by Tama Cathers